Dear Me (at age 17),

There are so many things you are doing right.  Your grades are awesome.  You will get into a fabulous college.  Do not doubt that Wittenberg is the right place for you.  It will launch you into your life.  Don’t let others talk down to you for your college choice.  They will really get on your case about this.  They will tell you that you are not better than anyone else just because you’re going to an uber-expensive, private school.  The fact of the matter is this:  You ARE better than them.  Don’t forget it.

There are other things you should do or not do, as the case may be.  Dump Chris.  At the time I am writing this, he is in jail for robbing a bank.  He is not a nice guy.  He may also be gay.  Do not worry about high school boys.  You will meet the man of your dreams shortly into your freshman year at Wittenberg.  You will know as soon as you see him in the cafeteria.  Don’t ask me how you will know it, you just will. 

You will lose touch with the great majority of your friends from high school.  I know this seems hard to believe because you can’t imagine life without them now.  Their lives will be very different than yours.  You’ll have some fun when you hang out with them later, but you will realize that you have very little in common with them. 

Your body will not stay so hot forever.  Do not forget this.  Stay away from Pepsi and junk food.  Follow the next piece of advice because Miami begins your foray into stress eating.

After you graduate from Wittenberg, do not go to graduate school.  Just get a job.  Graduate school, particularly at Miami, will not be good for you.  Your dissertation adviser will not listen to you.  You will have to contact Stanford University to verify your research.  Once you pass them on to your adviser (you were very right about your thinking), he will still dismiss you.  Until a week later, when he will blame you for not talking to Stanford.  He will try to take the credit for your work and berate you for not coming up with it sooner.  You will cause a big scene.  Just do yourself a favor, and forget the whole thing.

Do not have Mrs. Conley sing at your wedding.  She sucks.  It will also rain buckets on your wedding day.  Plan ahead so you won’t be late to your own wedding.

Having a baby is not easy.  You will have to see a doctor so you can have children.  Start the process before the age of 29.  Go see the doctor when you’re 25 or 26 when you first suspect there are issues.  You will be very angry about this.  About how unfair it is.  It’s okay to be angry because is is unfair. 

You will have a son with Down syndrome.  Just some advance notice on that one.  You don’t have a problem with that now, and you won’t have a problem with it when the time comes. 

You will have a very good life with very little hard times.  You will have very little regrets.  You are so lucky.  Don’t forget it.

Love,
The 30 (almost 31) year old you.